In 2020, the coronavirus pandemic forced everyone into a lockdown. Months of isolation made us feel completely disconnected from the world we knew, but it also allowed Papi Martin and I to evaluate the life and the relationship we wanted.
We had always said we wanted a family, and during this time, there were no distractions keeping us from actually looking into it.
On September 16, 2020, we took the first step in this direction by contacting PrimaVita Surrogacy, based out of Austin, Texas.
We were stunned. Simply Baffled. We felt defeated — the estimated price was around $120,000.
Papi Martin and I had saved for around three years and had about $30,000 in the bank. It would have taken us another nine years to make it happen, we thought.
And even as we attempted to find other routes, we quickly discovered that in the United States, PrimaVita Surrogacy’s prices were not that different from others. Some places charged as much as $150,000 for this process.
For us, a male gay couple, the surrogacy process requires several medical and legal procedures. To start, we needed an egg donor. This would be the biological mother of our baby, but someone we would never meet, know their name, or interact with. Additionally, we would need to decide which one of us would give their sperm deposit to a lab that would later be used to develop embryos with the eggs collected. Once embryos are created, they are conducted a PGT (Preimplantation Genetic Test).
Once the embryo tests were completed, they are transferred to the surrogate - the woman who will carry the baby. While she has no biological connection to the baby, she is vital to the process.
We learned so much about surrogacy those days; more importantly, we needed to make drastic changes to our lives and saving practices if we wanted to make this happen.
Aside from buying our first house, we had never dealt with an investment of over $100,000. Perhaps we were too sad and eager, but several times we considered selling our house because we knew you would be more important to us.
Feeling a little bit discouraged, we dropped the surrogacy search and did not return to it until November 2021.
One day there was a Facebook post that advertised surrogacy in Cancun, México. Having ended up disappointed with our previous attempt through U.S. agencies, we thought about exploring the idea of doing this in México.
One of our friends mentioned they had heard about Miracle Surrogacy, also through social media. We soon realized that social media was their marketing strategy. Excited but scared of being let down again, we scheduled an appointment to talk with representatives at this agency. After a scheduling mix-up, we had the call. It was quick, and at moments, it felt transactional, too impersonal. We had assumed it would be a video call, but to our surprise, it was only audio. We heard what sounded like their routine spiel, and just like that, the call ended leaving us feeling empty and unsatisfied.
“I enjoyed chatting with you guys earlier,” read the unsavory “Next Steps”email the agent sent after the call. This greeting felt completely ingenuine, but at least this time we got their prices. The premium package was nearly $60,000. We could potentially afford this.
By this time, it was December 2021, and we had planned a family trip to Cancun in March 2022. We figured we would take a day off our vacation and visit the agency to get a better feel.
The Miracle Surrogacy visit never happened.
Before our trip, we shared our surrogacy hopes and experience with our close friends, Erika and Robert, over dinner. And to our surprise, that evening we learned so much more about this journey.
Because these are someone else's personal experiences with surrogacy, we will not share the details, but the most valuable information that came out of that conversation was about FertyCare.
This surrogacy agency based out of México City sounded promising. More importantly, we learned we were two degrees of separation from someone that had used the agency successfully. We were so excited about this new lead that we called as soon as we got their number.
Soon after, we decided to cut our Cancun vacation short a few days to fly out to México City to meet with them. Their staff received us with open arms, and we finally felt like our journey began.
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